Greasiest Greasers You Ever Will See A Parody
by DALLYsaysSHUTtheHELLup
Summary: Parody of The Outsiders. Need I say more? Oh, well I have one hundred and seventy two, no wait a hundred and forty one characters left, so I guess I will say more. Well, I don't have that anymore. Basically the parody is a spoof of cliches.
1. The incest is cool chapter

**This is what happens when I'm bored. This is a parody so hopefully no one is insulted by it. It's not meant to be serious. It's lame, it's stupid. So just don't take offence to any of the chapters I might end up doing.  
>It really depends on the feedback I get for the chapter though to know if I should continue or not.<strong>

**Thanks to Taylorpaige24 for encouraging me to write this. :D**

**i DO NOT OWN THE OUTSIDERS. THOUGH I'M VERY CLOSE TO OWNING DALLY. :D  
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><p>It was a glorious day at the Curtis household, where the middle Curtis sat making out with the love of his life, McKayla, his girlfriend of three whole days. They were really going at it when the youngest Curtis walked in.<p>

"Uh guys?" Ponyboy asked timidly.

"What?" Mckayla asked angrily, upset that he would dare interrupt this special moment between her and Sodapop, who she has been dating for three whole days.

"It's just I haven't had a decent storyline in awhile so I was just wondering if I could maybe be apart of yours?"

Mckayla stood from the couch, fuming. "Listen here Pon-ie Boy, if anyone is going to hog all of Soda's time, and destroy any character development he has it's going to be me! I know you think you're oh so important because you're Sodapop's brother, but I still have more of a right to crush his character and obsess over him then you do." McKayla sat back down smugly, knowing she had won over the youngest Curtis brother.

Ponyboy gaped at her little outburst. "I-I was just asking to be included in your guys drama."

"I know but the storyline calls for me to be a major bitch to you, causing you to lash out and realize you actually want to be with Sodapop in the not brotherly way, and kiss him, making preteens swoon in their computer chairs."

Sodapop flinched looking pretty disturbed. "For God's sake, Kayla."

"What? It's not my fault if he wants a story line that he has to act out of character and irrational and do something crazy like jumping your bones."

Ponyboy was shaking his head. "That sounds pretty messed up. I mean seriously who wants to see me and Sodapop kiss?"

"About one third of The Outsiders fandom?" McKayla suggested.

"Really?" Soda asked curiously.

"Yep. It's actually changed a lot of peoples views on incest."

The youngest and middle Curtis brothers exchanged a lingering glance and if by a daze Sodapop stood up from the couch and stared down at his little brother.

"NO," Mckayla screamed. "Soda you're not suppose to like him back! You have a story line with me, remember?"

Sodapop quickly looked away. "Sorry."

"What is wrong with you? You're my boyfriend so be a good one."

"I"m a great one!" Soda defended himself heatedly. "Don't you notice how I call you Kayla instead of McKayla, and how I stopped making out with my best friend when we started seeing each other. What else can a guy do?"

"Uh, not have sex with your younger brother?"

"We weren't going to have sex, just kiss." Sodapop dropped back down on the couch.

"I still don't have a story line," Ponyboy spoke up after a moment of silence.

"Come on, Pone. You had that story line where you dated that girl who brought out your rebellious side? Or the one where the girl made you realize you were a badass at heart. Or that one time you dated the girl who turned you on to crime-"

"That's all the same story line!" Ponyboy exploded.

Sodapop was thoughtful. "Oh yeah I guess it kind of was, huh?"

Ponyboy looked dejected. "How do I get a good storyline?"

"Don't look at me Ponyboy because I'm not going to have a triangle with you just so you'll get a storyline," McKayla said. "All because I'm basically a self insert and the author of this fic has a totally inappropriate crush on you does not mean anything will happen between us."

"You tell him, Kayla!" Sodapop cheered from the couch. Then Sodapop and McKayla proceeded to make out for ten minutes to a really bad love song.

"You two are gross," Ponyboy proclaimed and walked out of the house.

"You wouldn't of actually made out with him right?" Mikki asked. Who is actually McKayla who's nickname is apparently Mikki, even though their was no introduction to that nickname.

"Uh..."

"Sodapop," Mikki whined not happy that he was hesitating. "I'm your soul mate!"

"I thought Sandy was my soul mate?"

"That was post pregnancy keep up Sodie."

"You're right. Thanks for loving me even though I'm super dumb."

"You're not dumb just because you don't know about anything they teach in text books, and regular books, and all because you can't actually read a book."

"You're right. I'm smart."

"I wouldn't go that far." Then they started to make out yet again.


	2. The crazy sister chapter

**Thanks for the reviews and stuff. I'm glad some people found it funny. I hope some people find this chapter funny tooo.**

**I know this took a little long to get out but you guys still love me right? *crickets chirp*  
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**Tell me what you think in a review? Kai thanks bai. xD**

**Ooooh and I don't own the Outsiders. **

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><p>It was a bright, sunny afternoon and the Curtis clan were all sitting in a booth, at the only restaurant in Outsidersland, The Dingo. And of course Mikki was with them, I mean she's practically part of the family, she's now been dating Sodapop for four whole days.<p>

"I'm so dumb," Soda whined.

"No you're not," McKayla reassured reassuringly. Then she noticed that he was looking at the menu upside down. "Er, Soda?"

"My bad," he giggled turning it sideways, then him and Mikki started to make out, and she started to tug his shirt off, while Ponyboy and Darry had very disturbing looks on their faces and even threw up in their mouths a little bit. "She's such a slut," Pony muttered under his breath.

"Who are you talking about?" McKayla asked breathlessly.

"I'm talking about you. Who else?"

"Sylvia? She's standing right over there. Now she is a S-L-U-T. I'm not like her am I Sodie?" she questioned with a pout.

"No way!" Soda answered immediately. "She's way more interesting of a character than you'll ever be."

Mikki's mouth dropped open a little bit and she stomped out of the Dingo, the only restaurant in Outsidersland.

All of a sudden the door to the Dingo burst open and there stood a beautiful girl with the blondest of hair and the bluest of eyes. Just staring at her it was obvious who she was. Dally's long lost sister! Or Dally in a wig. Either were possible.

"ZOMG!" Sodapop exclaimed under his breath. "Check out the girl that just walked in."

"She's cute, I guess, but you already have a girlfriend and even though she's a slut it's wrong to cheat." Ponyboy lectured.

"I don't want to date her. Can't you guys tell who that is?"

Darry studied her. "Damn it. Is Dally running around in that dang wig again?"

"That's what I thought at first," Soda said. "But she's to pretty, so that only leaves one thing. That's Dally's sister."

Ponyboy hit his forehead with the palm of his hand. "Don't you think Dally having a sister would have come up at least once? You have no reason to believe that some random girl is his sister."

Soda rolled his eyes at his younger brothers ignorance. "She has blond hair just like Dally, she has blue eyes just like Dally, she's white just like Dally."

"You just described half the people in the town." Pony pointed out.

"Half the people aren't' Dally's sister like she so obviously is."

"Well, with logic like that."

"I'm going to go talk to her," Soda announced getting out of the booth.

"Now don't scare her away like you did with Johnny's sister. He's now sister-less again because of you," Darry reminded him. "I mean you don't want her to run off before she gets to meet her brother do ya?"

Soda hung his head. He still felt bad about that. "Don't you worry. I know just how to handle it." He walked over to the girl. "I know why you're here." He said quite loudly for reasons unknown.

The girl jumped at the sound of his voice. "To eat?" The girl asked timidly.

"I mean I know why you're in Tulsa." Soda clarified with a chuckle.

"Because I live here?"

Sodapop was getting irritated with the girl. They all knew she was Dally's sister so why didn't she just come out with it? "I mean I know you're looking for someone."

The girl rolled her eyes. "That's a pretty lame pickup line."

"Your brother!" Soda exploded impatiently. "I know you're looking for your brother!"

The girl now looked stricken with fear. It wasn't everyday she got screamed at by random strangers.

"You do have a brother, don't you, Brooklyn?" Sodapop asked smugly.

The girl nodded. "I have two brothers and one sister." She quickly pursed her lips though realizing that she probably shouldn't be giving out so much information to a stranger. But something was bothering her. "Why'd you call me Brooklyn?"

Sodapop gave her a duh look. "Because it's your name."

"No, it's not. My names, Sarah."

Soda burst out into laughter. "What...a...stupid...name..." He manged to get out between his laughter.

"Well, what's your name?" Sarah, or Brooklyn, or not Dally's sister wanted to know slightly insulted.

"Sodapop." He replied proudly.

"Yeah and I'm the one with the stupid name," she said sarcastically.

"I know. That's what I told you."

"You know what? I'm not hungry anymore I'm gonna go now." She started to hedge towards the door not wanting to set this scary looking young man off again.

"No," Soda screamed at her. "You have to meet Dally so you guys can be a family!"

"I already have a family you nutcase. Now leave me alone."

"It's obviously not your real family. They kidnapped you when you were younger and now beat you. But it's okay because your brothers great so caring and thoughtful and loving."

"Dally's none of those things," Pony pointed out.

"Shush Pone, kind of busy here."

Soda grabbed "Sarah" by the arm before she had a chance to escape.

"Let go of me!" She tried getting out of his grip. "My parents never laid a hand on me and I resent you for saying that."

"Look how tough she is, she is so Dally's sister," Darry said.

"Let's drag her to him against her will, even after she insisted that she doesn't have a brother named Dally." Ponyboy suggested with clear sarcasm in his voice.

"Great idea Ponyboy!" Soda was getting real excited now. He was about to reunite a family. He just knew this sweet, angelic, girl who was now digging her teeth into his arm would be just the girl to melt the ice inside Dally's heart.

He smacked her over the head causing her to whimper in pain. "No biting," he told her sternly. "Grab her Darry, you are the one with oversized baseballs with arms."

Darry nodded and when he threw her over his shoulder one of the baseball's fell out of shirt of his sleeve. "Dang it. That keeps happening."

The girl was struggling and crying for someone to help her.

"I wonder why she's acting like this?" Soda wondered aloud.

"Because we're kidnapping her?" Pony suggested.

"Maybe she thinks we're Soc's," Darry said ignoring Ponyboy as usual, except when he's hitting him of course.

"That must be it," Soda cried. "Don't worry, doll. We're greasers."

The girl didn't say anything; she was exhausted from crying and fighting, she was scared and she just wanted to go home. She wanted to keep fighting to get away from these crazy men but was afraid they'd smack her over the head again. That hurt!

Finally she felt her feet on the ground, but she couldn't run because the one with baseball as muscles had his arm tightly around her waist keeping her there.

The good looking crazy one knocked on the door of one of the many bedrooms inside of the house? She wasn't sure where she was but there was loud music vibrating from downstairs.

A boy around her age answered it and gave the three boys a dirty look. Maybe it's finally someone sane, she thought. "The fuck you want?" he snapped at them.

"We have something for you," Soda sang out.

Tears pricked the girls eyes, were they planning on giving her to him so he could have his way with her? She started to full on cry she just couldn't help it.

"She finally recognizes him," Darry whispered. "Look tears of joy."

"I wanna go home," she sobbed.

Dally's eyes finally landed on her and he swallowed hard trying to keep his emotions in check. "After all these years...here you are...I thought I would never see you again!"

"I don't even know who you are," the girl chocked out as Dally enveloped her in a tight hug.

"Ssh it's okay, Brookie, I'm going to protect you now, baby sister. Father won't hurt you no more."

"My father never hurt me and my names Sarah!"

Dally stroked her hair. "There, there Suzie, everythings okay."

"It's Sarah you crazy son of a bitch!"

"Yes, our father is a crazy son of a bitch but he won't hurt you again, Sally."

"Please, let me go," she begged in a last ditch effort. "I won't tell anyone. You can just let me go and we'll pretend this never happened I won't turn you in."

All of the boys were staring at her. "Turn us in for what exactly?" Sodapop asked confused.

"Don't fall in love with my baby sister!" Dally yelled at Sodapop out of nowhere.

"But-but...fine..." he muttered.

"I'm not your sister and I'm not your lover. I'm going to leave now. I'm going to try to forget this day ever happened. Goodbye." she raced down the hall, ran down the stairs and didn't stop running until she was safely inside of her house.

"Your sister sure is nice, Dally." Soda said.

"Sure is," Dally agreed. "Great girl that Sadie is."

All four of the boys nodded their heads in agreement even Ponyboy.


	3. The WTF just happened chapter

**Okay so basically I have major writers block for That's Life For You so I thought I'd update this story. Hopefully it's at least kind of funny? **

**And remember this is just a parody it's not suppose to be taken seriously in anyway. It's just what comes from me being bored.**

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><p>"Anyone home?" Ponyboy asked when he walked in the front door, dropping his backpack next to the hall closet.<p>

'Soda's out with Mikki and it's only ten pm so Darry's still at work," Came a familiar voice from the couch, making Ponyboy jump and whirl around.

"J-Johnny?" Pony stuttered out. 'You're dead!" He pointed to the seemingly fine boy.

Johnny just gave him a confused look. "Why would you think I was dead?"

"Uh…because I was there when you died?"

"When did I die?" Johnny asked quizzically.

"We saved those kids from the fire and you got severely burned and your back was broken and the doctor said even IF you lived you'd never walk again?"

"Oh that!" Johnny said chuckling. "That was nothing."

"Nothing?" Ponyboy repeated in disbelief. "You getting third degrees, getting crippled and oh yeah dying was nothing?!"

Johnny rolled his eyes at his over dramatic friend. "Chillax Pone. Obviously I wasn't as injured as people first thought."

"Seriously? That's it? We're not even gonna get some lame excuse of why you're still alive and just ignore the fact that you died?"

"Yep," Johnny chirped. "But I'm sure we'll address later in the story when it becomes convenient to the plot."

"Oh...Okay...but just so we're clear you did in fact die."

Johnny sighed. "I fell asleep in the hospital...a very deep sleep."

"You weren't breathing!" Ponyboy yelled.

"I fell into a deep breathless sleep….things like that happen all the time. Besides why are you making a big deal over me being alive when you didn't think it was odd that Dally was alive in the last chapter?"

Ponyboy couldn't help but grin. "I really missed you pointing out my plot holes," Pony sat next to his best buddy on the couch.

"I'll always be here to point out every plot hole" Johnny promised, cuddling into Pony's arms.

"Umm…Johnny what are you doing?" Asked a very uncomfortable looking Ponyboy.

"What do you mean? We always cuddle." Johnny said holding him tightly.

"No we don't…" Pony slowly eased away from him.

"Yeah huh. Remember up at the church?" Johnny reminded him.

"It was freezing and we had to stay close to keep warm."

"Pony that's the stupidest thing you've ever said….that church was still considered Outsiderland and it is always warm in Outsiderland. Next you're gonna say you thought I died from severe burns or something equally as unrealistic." Johnny shook his head sadly.

Ponyboy was about to point out that he did just say those exact things not even a paragraph ago, but thought better of it

"So…." Ponyboy said after a few minutes of awkward silence. "If it's ten at night than why am I just getting home from school?"

"Oh so you're the only one allowed plot holes?" Johnny huffed.

When things were starting to get super awkward again Dally burst through the door. "My life is over!" He announced dramatically and then he noticed Johnny sitting on the couch. "Oh hey Johnnycakes," He greeted rifling the younger boys hair. "Glad to see you alive and kicking."

Johnny grinned. "You too Dally….did it hurt getting gunned down by all the cops?"

"Nah…." Dally said. "I'm tough."

Ponyboy decided to ignore the fact that two people that were supposed to be dead was standing in his livingroom and were very much alive when they should in fact be dead but he didn't need the drama so instead he said, "Why's your life over, Dal?"

"OH right." Dally exclaimed. "Forgot my life was over for a second there. Anyway Sandra got a restraining order." Dally looked down glumly.

"Awwwee I'm sorry Dal," Johnny got up and patted his back.

"Wait, who is Sandra?" Ponyboy wanted to know.

Dally glared at him. "You forgot about my sister? You're the one who reunited us!"

"First, her name was Sarah. Second, she's not your sister. Third, this is getting ridiculous."

"How'd you remember her name?" Dally stalked over to Ponyboy. "You screwing my babysister Suzie? HUH?!"

Then Johnny was all "Oooooooh Pony's in love with a Winston."

Then Dally was all, "I guess if my sisters going to fall in love with someone it should be you." And he smiled and Johnny had an awwww moment.

And Pony was all "You don't have a sister! For the love of God what is with this story?"

Dally totally blocked Ponyboy out and was all "I was really counting on Sidney to soften my bad boy ways and show me how to love in a non incest way because we're not Ponyboy and Sodapop."

"WHAT?! What the hell are you talking about?" Pony shouted.

"Now I'm gonna have to find a girl that's not my sister to tame me..."T

hen out of nowhere Cherry walked through the Curtiss' living-room. "Hi Ponyboy! Hi Johnny!" She said cheerfully.

"Hi Cherry," Both boys answered in unison.

"Johnny I just want you to know that I forgive you for killing Bob." Cherry said kindly.

"Wait let me get this straight, you two are still miraculously alive but Bob's still dead?" Pony asked.

"Well, that's simple," Dally shrugged. "No one likes Bob."

"That actually almost makes sense," Ponyboy said.

"But anyways I'm just cutting through here on my way home." Cherry smiled.

"And the nonsense is back," Ponyboy groaned.

"Anyways," Cherry broke in awkwardly. "See you guys around."

"Cherry…wait…" Dally said. "Wanna go get a Coke sometimes or something?"

"Sure," Cherry answered.

"Really?" Dally asked getting downright giddy.

"Just kidding, you're a loser, bye." She said and skipped out.

Then Dally was all. "Think she secretly loves me and wants to have my babies?"

And Pony was all "Are you stupid?"

And Dally was all "Yes…but that didn't answer my question."

Then Ponyboy was like "I'm going to bed.' So he did.


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